Leaving a Mark

March 11, 2013

Well today I met with Dr. Hartman who is the IR Doctor.  I found out more about the procedure they will be doing  cryogenic-ablation.  Which means they will be freezing the tumors.  Fitting for me since I like the cold.   They said that where my tumors are if they did the heat it would do to much damage to the lining of the lungs.  Also looks like they will to it in two different sessions since some of the tumors I have to be on my back and some I have to be on my stomach.   They do not put me out but they do slightly sedate me so I won't remember much or feel anything till I am done.  I was told it can feel like someone punched me in the side pretty hard but he said some people feel just fine afterwards.   They will be putting a chest tube in so not looking forward to that.  I was also informed that one of the tumors because of where it is at they will have to deflate my lung more than normal since they need to see if it will fall away from the side which is right next to the nerves that control my right arm.  If it falls away they will freeze it but if it does not they will not.  So this being said I really hope it will fall away or it looks like another major surgery to remove it and I really don't want to have my chest cracked open again!  It feels like there is always something to cause an issue and hopefully I will finally get a break.   So the next step is trying to get the insurance to authorize which can take up to 3 weeks.   I really can't afford for it to take longer since these tumors are fast growers and if it gets larger than 3 cm then they cannot do this process and it is surgery.  It really does suck that insurance can hold up a necessary procedure and that the insurance company really could care less about me.   We are trying to do everything possible to push it through faster.   They will authorize it, just have to go through the red tape.  Another great fiasco of Obamacare.   So here I sit waiting again!

Being a cancer patient sometimes I feel really selfish getting caught up about what is happening to me.   The problem is that it affects everyone around me.  I keep having to remind myself of that.  I feel that this may be harder on my wife than it is me.  She is the one who depending on the outcome and how bad I am after the procedures has to still do her job, keep the house going and the kids fed and then on top of that take care of me.  She has to take on ten times more of the burden.   I am extremely lucky to have such a wife that has been able to do this and still stays by my side.  I have seen cancer break apart marriages and so lucky that it has made mine stronger. I am lucky to have such great support of a great family on both sides.


 “The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”-Elizabeth Kubler-Ross